A while back, someone asked me about the tagline I’ve been using, which is “No Should’ing and No Fixing”. You would be correct, should’ing is not a word. I usually get giggles, big laughter, blank stares and the rare “thank you” when I share this with others. This tagline surfaced about a year ago and comes from many teachers/mentors/friends who have had an impact on me.
So I’ve been sitting on this blog for a little over a month… resistant to send it for some reason. Who knows. The should’ing was first introduced to me during therapy/counseling sessions. I had no idea how often I used that word in my vocabulary. Holy shit!!! Lucky for me, I was working with a great therapist. Yes, he’s on the distribution list for this blog, so hopefully he reads this one hahaha.
As I became aware of how much I used the word and how it felt when someone used it in context with me, I decided to make it part of my journey not to “should” on anyone ever again, including the kids. We used to make a game of it in the car… I would ask them to come up with scenarios where they thought they had to use the word “should”. Each and every time, I was able to give them at least one response to their “should” statement. I enjoyed it and hopefully down the road, the game pays off with them.
A few years ago, I had this aha moment that feels like it’s connected to the should’ing revelation. I was using the words “corrective, correcting and fixing” a lot in my practice. I mean that’s what I do right… is correct and fix? Corrective exercises are a big deal in the fitness industry and there is lots of fixing on the massage tables. Being that I do both, it was a double whammy for me. I realized I was implying to other humans that something was wrong; thus something need to be fixed.
I’ll never forget the first day I walked in to therapy and he asked me why I was here (this was 2006 by the way), and my response was “I’m broken and need fixing”. He smiled, kind of shitty grin like he did many times in our sessions and replied, “You aren’t broken and there’s nothing to fix.” I had no clue what he meant at the time. I spent 6 years learning from him. Anyway, back to the fixing…. I decided that I was implying to everyone I came in contact with that they too were broken and needed fixing. I know I didn’t like how that felt, so I have worked hard not to use the words “correcting, corrective or fixing” in my practice since about 2014 I believe.
So, that’s how I came to use “No Should’ing and No Fixing” as the tagline for Jones Integrated Wellness. First and foremost, the intention is to create an environment where everyone feels “safe” to be themselves. Then the other modalities from massage, to ELDOA, to training, to food, to sleep, to breath, come in to play depending on the human and their goal.
Thanks for taking time out of your schedule to read this. If you think this might benefit someone, please feel free to share it with them.
Be well and be content. Jeff